About Randi

Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of people who have a family member with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to an international forefront through her best-selling books, informative website, and popular online family support community Welcome to Oz.


Mission Barely Possible: Finding A New BPD Therapist

This guest blog is from a woman whith borderline personality disorder who wants to share her experiences with others so they don't feel so alone.

Moving is hard for anyone. The work of physically moving, saying goodbye to friends and making new friends, starting a new job, finding your way around a new community are all stressful and challenging--especiall for people with borderline personality disorder.

I recently moved to a new state. The hardest part for me was leaving my therapist and finding a new one. As you may know, finding a therapist  can be next to impossible for someone with BPD.

I moved to a large urban area. I had a list of almost 100 therapists that I called and/or e-mailed.  Of those who responded, very few wanted to set up an appointment after initially hearing my symptoms (chronic suicidality, cutting, severe depression, eating concerns, anxiety, relationship problems, etc.) and my desire to be have a appointment twice a week with some phone contact between sessions.

I thought I had found a good therapist. But then I met with her for the initial meeting she said she would not work with me. Even though I had only met with her once, I felt abandoned and rejected.

Then I met with another therapist who told me that I should not disclose all my symptoms to potential therapists because it was too overwhelming. If even a therapist was overwhelmed by my problems, how was I ever going to handle everything in my own life?

Finally I connected with a therapist who was comfortable dealing with BPD and was able to give me the support that I needed. But when I most needed the support (in the midst of moving and my first few weeks in my new location) she was not available. Those were quite literally the worst few weeks in my life.

It is sad that so many therapists reject borderline clients or refuse to even see if they might be a good fit--although it does take a special person to work with someone with BPD and not everyone can do it, I think there needs to be more resources for those with BPD and more knowledge of the condition on the part of clinicians.

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