Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of people who have a family member with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to an international forefront through her best-selling books, informative website, and popular online family support community Welcome to Oz.
Blogs, Books & More About Recovery from BPD
I have noticed that more and more people are writing blogs and putting up sites about what it's like to have and recover from borderline personality disorder. Other people with BPD talk about the things that have helped them,
I would like to open up the comments for this blog for people who have suggestions about how they recovered or what helped them: this of it as an advice column.
There's tons of info about BPD in general, but I would like to focus on specific things people with the disorder have mentioned that have helped them, or specific sites or blogs that people discuss that are beneficial.
Please be as specific as you can: for example, instead of saying "dialectical behavior therapy" (or any other treatment), Perhaps give a link to a site about DBT and discuss the specific skill that helped you the most and how you used it. If you like a site or a blog, why?
Assume I'll get lots of comments (whether or not I do) so give people a reason for making this recommendation. It's perfectly fine to mention your own blog, site, book or whatever, but again, be specific about how much of the content goes over recovery methods. Otherwise this would just resemble a Google search.
Also, this isn't the place to debate methods and which one is best or which one didn't work for someone. In fact, it's not about debating anything. It's just a collection of resources and suggestions.
Also, this is NOT the place to complain about people with BPD who don't want treatment or any other topic that's off comment. Please use the phrase "possible trigger" if needed. I will be shifting comments to my blog on BPDCentral.com so I can monitor them and let those through that qualify.
Here are a few suggestions to start:
Over the years the one big thing I have learned is to not EVER give up hope I finding an answer. With the right doctor, medication and therapy, everything seems to fall into place. Oh and we can't forget... You must surrender to the system and say to yourself, "I admit I need help". I did this, and it lead to a series of other choices I made. First, I needed help with the extreme emotions I was feeling, and when I open mindedly accepted the therapy, it led to other therapies that I needed in order to pull myself into recovery. These therapies included therapy for my abandonment issues, sexual assault therapy and others listed. In the end I am so happy I stopped denying my disorder and accepted my fate/destiny. I had no control over it, at first, BUT after a few years in therapy, medication and utter desperation to save my life, I found out what it means to be as unique an individual as borderlines often are. My symptoms decreased over time and the self-harm eventually stopped.
www.BPDRecovery.com is a site that focuses on recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder using tools that are predominantly Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) oriented. We are a non-discriminatory website which means that all individuals are welcome - whether you've been formally diagnosed or simply recognize yourself or someone you know in the diagnostic criteria, you are welcome here!
The book Get Me Out of Here: I (Randi Kreger) first published this book (Eggshells Press) about a woman's recovery from BPD and by an amazing psychiatrist. The book is now published by Hazelden and has sold almost 100,000 copies. It also talks a lot about the effects on the family. From Amazon: With astonishing honesty, this memoir Get Me Out of Here reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.
The book The Buddha and the Borderline by my friend Kiera Van Gelder
The funniest BPD memoir ever. From Amazon: This haunting, intimate memoir chronicles both the devastating period that led to Kiera's eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Kiera's story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live.
First of all, I'm going to say something that some may consider a little controversial. Full recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder is possible. I have heard a lot of people say that you only ever learn how to manage it and live with it (and some not even that), but I disagree. I have fundamentally changed - I am still "me" but I am also very different to who I was even a relatively short time ago.
From http://tacklingbpd.com/ ("myths about recovery")
This leads into the other myth about recovery that I wanted to write about: the idea that to recover means losing who you are, that you have to change your whole personality in order to get better. I've even heard people say that messed up people are more interesting, that to be mentally well balanced is to be boring. That is nonsense, boring people are boring – they come in both healthy and unhealthy varieties. I have not lost my personality, if anything it is stronger than ever. What I have lost is all the beliefs and feelings I had that made me miserable. I am now freer and more able to be myself than ever before. I've always had a strong personality but it wasn't built on firm foundations – it wobbled around depending on what was happening around me. I learned to build myself up from the inside out and now it takes a lot more to knock me over.
DBT stages of recovery for people with BPD (graphic; unable to paste here)
So few people are willing to look at the person behind the personality disorder. There can be such immense creativity born in the minds of those tormented by mental illness, and when harnessed through poetry, art, music or writing it can be a powerful tool for recovery.
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